Boundless night, have a bundle of light, be like a bright lamp, be like a torch, enlightened the road of the travel before me, without giving thought to by day, still be a night, no matter happy, or it is disappointed, accompanying me momently.
漫漫黑夜,有一束光，如一盏明灯，如一把火炬，照亮了我前行的路，不管白天，还是黑夜，不论喜悦，或是失望，都时时刻刻陪伴着我。
A Yin Qing's errant midsummer, should classes are over when bell start shooting, outside the window if heavy rain is noted. Wash rice the raindrop of drop of the sound of rain as before uninterrupted underground is worn, stubborn ground and people refuse to budge are worn. I aloof the figure that saw mom is familiar, rush hurriedly to her. Arrived vicinity, see mom's body shakes slightly in fierce wind heavy rain only, write in double eye full exhaustion, my mood becomes a little heavy and complex.
一个阴晴不定的盛夏，当放学铃打响时，窗外正大雨如注。淅淅沥沥的雨点依旧不间断地下着，倔强地与人们僵持着。我远远地的看到了妈妈熟悉的身影，急匆匆地向她冲去。到了近处，只见妈妈的身体在狂风大雨中微微发颤，双眼里写满了疲惫，我的心情变得有些沉重和复杂。作文 WwW.ZuOwENbA.NeT
Mom sees me, the umbrella in handle to me this tilts at the same time, the hand that plays me moves toward driveway edge to go up, her hand is cold, cool cool, without temperature. Going, I just discover questioningly, the hand that mom is holding umbrella power tilts towards me, towards me also this tilts that umbrella at the same time, frozen, the rain with big beans bead hit wet mom's shoulder, the hair also is hit wet, hanging on hair silk trifling, the drip that glittering and translucent get rid of appears, not the dwelling place is dripping downward, drip to go up to shoulder, flowing to the ground down the dress again, mom is aware of me to looking attentively at her it seems that, had turned the head comes, laugh slightly to me, as if saying to me, of this it doesn't matter, the five flavors is more in my heart miscellaneous old, very is not flavor. Rain, falling as before, hit on the umbrella, give out “ Da, da, the noise of Da ” , as if achieve is worn a dirge, the state of mind that makes audience also subsequently low, fall on the ground, splash case a spray, it is a dirge solely it seems that insufficient still, should deserve to go up again the dancing with cool Bei. Raindrop is bungled flintily on mom's shoulder, more on the heart that breaks in me. My nose one acid, in the eye indescribable also get together full tear, tongue knot, do not say to give a word to come. On the driveway, cry fluted and incessant Yu Er, street go up, the pedestrian is driving a road hastily, wind passes in side side howl, rain is in beside bend basin and below. This bundle is smooth, enlightened I, let me forget cloudburst, let me forget fierce wind your work, also let me forget trouble, everything recollects recall goodly, my heart inside nice and warm.
妈妈见到我，便把手中的伞向我这一边倾斜，拉起我的手走向马路边上，她的手冷冷的，凉凉的，没有温度。走着走着，我才诧异地发现，妈妈握着伞柄的手是向着我倾斜的，那伞也是向着我这一边倾斜的，冰冷的，豆大的雨珠打湿了妈妈的肩膀，头发也被打湿了，发丝上挂着些许的，晶莹剔透的水珠，不住地往下淌着，滴到肩膀上，在再顺着衣服流到了地上，妈妈似乎察觉到我正注视着她，转过头来，对我微微一笑，仿佛在对我说，这没什么的，我心中更是五味杂陈，十分的不是滋味。雨，依旧在下着，打在伞上，发出“嗒，嗒，嗒”的声响，仿佛奏着一曲哀歌，令听众的心情也随之低落，落在地上，溅起朵朵水花，似乎光是一曲哀歌还不够，要再配上悲凉的舞蹈。雨点无情地砸在妈妈的肩上，更砸在我的心上。我鼻头一酸，眼中也莫名其妙的聚满了泪水，舌头打结，说不出一句话来。马路上，鸣笛声不绝于耳，街道上，行人匆忙的赶着路，风在耳畔呼啸而过，雨在身旁倾盆而下。这束光，照亮了我，让我忘却倾盆大雨，让我忘却狂风大作，也让我忘却烦恼，忆起一切美好的回忆，我心里边暖烘烘的。
This bundle is smooth, make me permanent embalm, permanent hard dismiss from one's mind, also be to make my feeling fine much at the same time.
这束光，让我永久铭记于心，永久难以忘怀，同时也是使我感触良多。
Author: Wang Hong poors
作者：王洪一菲
The adviser comments on:
导师点评：
This bundle is smooth, it is mother love actually. Tell after all, write mother love, send an umbrella, send a hospital, one cup heats up milk, these are written too much too much, be in an unfavorable situation inherently from select material, this bit of young writer wants to notice all the more in the following writing! Young nevertheless writer is written also have window, that is written meticulously namely, affection expression is exquisite, kept the sort of picture sense come out, the heart very good also the earth's surface amounted to medium affection to come out. Additional, young writer still is having good language character strength, make the article had certain readability. Do not cross penult paragraph space is too long, reading an experience is not very good, suggest to so long stage is not written after young writer, OK and proper cent becomes two paragraphs.
这束光，其实是母爱。讲到底，写母爱，送伞，送去医院，一杯热牛奶，这些都被写得太多太多，从选材上天生就吃亏，这点小作者在以后的写作中要格外注意哦！不过小作者写得也是有亮点的，那就是写得细致，情感表达细腻，将那种画面感写了出来，将心中的情感也很好地表达了出来。另外，小作者还有着不错的语言文字功底，使得文章具有了一定的可读性。不过倒数第二段篇幅太长，阅读体验并不是很好，建议小作者以后都不要写那么长的段落，可以适当分成两段。
Directive teacher: Du Haitao
指导老师：杜海涛