Send dear you:
致亲爱的你们:
Hello!
你好！
Although do not know you to which come from, but the ground that I consider to let you understand me to live.
虽不知你来自哪，但我想让你了解一下我生活之地。
I live in beautiful Su Cheng, su Cheng has the good name of " of this " an abundant place. Hill pond street of Su Cheng is one of places that I like most. You came in the future here, I take you where to see certainly. There Chan of running water Chan, the station admires a head to visit a day in little bridge edge, it is Bai Yun. He appears weary all the more lazy, childlike like what sleep soundly.
我生活在美丽的苏城，苏城有这着"鱼米之乡"的美称。苏城的山塘街是我最喜欢的地方之一。将来你们来了这里，我一定带你看看哪儿。那儿流水潺潺，站在小桥边仰头望天，是一片片的白云。他显得格外慵懒，像熟睡的孩子似的。
Hearing the voice of brook water, I as if drop into elfland. A maple leaf falls in my the centre of the palm, general like like a dragonfly skimming the surface of the water-touch on sth without going into it deeply, reality pullbacked in the dreamland my wherefrom happiness. The ancient rhyme beauty of hill pond street is especially, put on ancient time Chinese take, sit fore, listening to Gu Zheng's beautiful swing, indistinct heard brook water to be in play livelily.
听着溪水的声音，我仿佛坠入了仙境。一片枫叶落在我的掌心，像蜻蜓点水一般，把我从那美好的幻境中拉回了现实。山塘街的古韵美是尤其的，穿上古代的汉服，坐在船头，听着古筝优美的音律，隐隐约约听到了溪水在欢快的嬉戏。
Our Su Cheng not only these, still have the silk of clever unsurpassed of essence of life. According to legend is in ancient period, lei ancestor is met sericiculture nest silk, be good at preventing spin, perhaps be at that time Lei ancestor calls us Su Cheng child. From ancient up to now, “ of among them ” embroider woman is Su Cheng's fiercest textile card, you put on that beauty quietly elegant and do not break high cheongsam, if wave,be like wave faery. Again fine fine look, they each is gentle and graceful fair maiden, coquettish, smiling face bursts like the flower. That silk is buoyant, asing if is a silver-colored silk, silk is greasy, resemble small fish same, one not careful escaped from inside my hand.
我们苏城不光这些，还有精妙绝伦的丝绸。相传在远古时期，嫘祖会养蚕窠丝，擅长防止纺织，也许是当时嫘祖叫我们苏城之子的吧。从古至今，其中的”绣娘“是苏城最厉害的一家纺织品牌，你穿上那美丽淡雅而不失高贵的旗袍，似如飘飘仙子。再细细一看，她们个个窈窕淑女，婀娜多姿，笑颜如花绽。那丝绸轻飘飘的，仿佛是一根银丝，丝绸滑溜溜的，像小鱼儿一样，一不留神就从我手中溜走了。
Old and young Su Cheng, put in ancient rhyme beauty not only, modern culture also is reached have distinguishing feature extremely.
古老而年轻的苏城，不仅存在古韵美，现代文化也及极其有特色。
Be like the door of east of " —— of pants of " harvest season in autumn. "" of pants of harvest season in autumn is those who walk is hormonal, admire inspect " of pants of " harvest season in autumn it ases if moving, stand in top of " of pants of " harvest season in autumn, air is fresh, look at distance, the city with numerous lively flower is west, the east is the golden pheasant lake with big in case. Person of lake upper reaches hum move ditty, tasting tea, stand up the beautiful scenery that looks at golden pheasant lake. It is to be intoxicated very.
如"大秋裤"——东方之门。"大秋裤"是行走的荷尔蒙，仰视"大秋裤"它仿佛在动，站在"大秋裤"顶端，空气清新，眺望远方，西面是繁花热闹的都市，东面便是倘大的金鸡湖。湖上游人哼着小曲，品着茶，是不是站起来眺望金鸡湖的美景。甚是陶醉。
Su Cheng is a culture earth, beijing of Su Cheng unlike, shanghai is so busy. The culture beauty that Dan Sucheng also has him, ancient rhyme beauty, quiet beauty!
苏城是个文化大地，苏城不像北京，上海那么繁忙。但苏城也有自己的文化美、古韵美、安静美！
Your's sincerely
此致
With high respect
敬礼
Rao Yiting
饶依婷
The adviser comments on:
导师点评：
The article wrote the Su Cheng of the local —— beauty that he lives as a child, full text love is true, between the lines can experience you to home town love, for the feeling with proud home town. Full text language is beautiful, apply the eyeball that the rhetorical gimmick such as the analogy lets Su Cheng's figure is more vivid, more absorbing, and the artistic conception that builds in the composition is very beautiful, let a reader get drunk among them. Nevertheless, there also are a few problems in the composition. You basically are introducing Su Cheng in the composition from two respects, it is natural landscape, it is humanitarian culture, but across appeared this at 2 o'clock you, the content that brings about a composition is more confused, the teacher suggests you can be divided will write for two respects, a few natural landscape, the landscape that includes Su Cheng, city, it is humanitarian culture, the embroidery that includes Su Cheng, such composition content will be more clear, continue to cheer!
本文写了自己从小生活的地方——美丽的苏城，全文感情真挚，字里行间都能感受到你对家乡的喜爱、为家乡自豪的感情。全文语言优美，运用比喻等修辞手法让苏城的形象更加生动、更吸引人的眼球，而且作文中营造的意境很美，让读者沉醉其中。不过，作文中也存在着一些问题。你在作文中主要是从两个方面来介绍苏城的，一是自然景观、一是人文文化，可是这两点你是交叉出现的，导致作文的内容比较混乱，老师建议你可以分为两个方面来写，一些自然景观，包括苏城的山水、城市等，一是人文文化，包括苏城的刺绣等，这样作文内容会更加明晰，继续加油！