Probably some of thing, some people, some content already were absent, but the presence that there always is a corner to have them in the heart.
或许有些事、有些人、有些物已不在，但心中总有一个角落有他们的存在。
Elementary school is 6 years by the side of ear most the voice that often hears is: Go, go by the side of the bridge small shop goes.
小学六年在耳边最经常听到的声音就是：走，去桥边小店去。
Total meeting has store of one wife and children near every elementary school, I this small shop here is not big, also ten will make the same score rice, manage to Fu of an old fellow like me, age of Fu of an old fellow like me is not small. Everyday, of work from dawn to night, it is painstaking very. Husband and wife two like a child, see the child is buoyant every time. They amuse a child to play, give a child candy, children also like them very much. Husband and wife mirth of two happy event, laugh, the furrow of canthus with respect to defect defect, weak yellow tooth also was shown.
每个小学附近总会有一家小店儿，我这边的这个小店不大，也就十几来平米，是一对老夫妇经营的，老夫妇年纪不小。每天，起早贪黑的，很是辛苦。夫妻俩喜欢小孩，每次见到小孩都是乐呵呵的。他们逗小孩玩，给小孩糖，小孩们也都很喜欢他们。夫妻俩喜欢笑，一笑，眼角的皱纹就陷了陷，淡黄的牙齿也露了出来。
Classes are over come home, a school gate, see only cloudy, wind also breathes out the beat upon branch that breathe out, branch is made sound by the rustle of lash, resembling is to be in sob is general. As expected, not a little while rain falls down. My confounded runs to the doorway of small shop, did not enter room however, the shoe had been been stained with clay, go up to also risking spit personally. Passed a little while, the old person in house is the activity outside hearing the door it seems that, opened the door. Open the door to see me panic-stricken, the old person is to be stupefied first, hind big Jing says: “ alas, foolish the child, how to come in? , speed will fasten catch a cold. ” is saying to advance me house, get me to bench to sit down. Here is the place that Fu of an old fellow like me rests. I carry the eye is looked around all around, the furniture all round is very old old but neat, be like,only casing of a pair of photograph is brand-new however first. The old person looks down my line of sight, start to talk next: “ the small grandchildren that this is me, was gone to to the other place by his parents belt. ” pauses, the old person says again: “ this is the photograph a few years ago, his age should follow you now about the same. He is particularly good, special if listening to me, in one's childhood often adhesion I. So I see those little girls, thought of his …… him. ” old person choked with sobs. Squeeze a glittering and translucent tears in eyes to twinkle in the eye in the old person. The old person returns future to must reach sadness to go with respect to busy deal, I am looking at the back that the old person leaves, I am brooding.
一次放学回家，一出校门，就只见乌云密布，风也呼呼的吹打树枝，枝条被抽打的沙沙作响，像是在呜咽一般。果然，不一会儿雨就下起来了。我狼狈的跑到小店的门口，却没有进屋，鞋已经被沾满了泥土，身上也冒着小雨。过了一会儿，屋里的老人似乎是听到了门外的动静，便打开了门。一开门便见到惊慌失措的我，老人先是一愣，后又大惊说：“哎呀，傻孩子，怎么不进来呢?，快进来别着凉了。”说着便把我推进屋，把我领到板凳上坐下。这里是老夫妇休息的地方。我抬眼环顾四周，周围的家具都很老旧但整洁，只有一副相框却是崭新如初。老人顺着我的视线看去，然后开口道：“这是我的小孙子，被他父母带到外地去了。”顿了顿，老人又说：“这是几年前的照片了，现在他的年龄应该跟你们差不多了。他特别乖，特别听我的话，小时候经常粘着我。所以我一看到那些小朋友，就想到了他……他。”老人哽咽了。挤出晶莹的泪花闪烁在老人的眼中。老人还未来得及伤感就忙着做生意去了，我望着老人离去的背影，我沉思着。
Look for bridge edge small shop nowadays again, it already did not see sign. That is opposite and love and close old couple also are not beside. That “ visits bridge edge small shop. ” also goes on a long journey gradually in brain. But they did not leave here, because they still are in a certain corner in my heart.
如今再去找桥边小店，它已不见了踪影。那对和爱和亲的老夫妇也不在身边。那句“走去桥边小店去。”也在脑海中渐渐远行。可他们并没有离开这里，因为他们仍在我心里的某个角落。
Composition piece let a person shine at the moment, “ already was absent the language with so chastening ” is outstanding. Think with elementary school audition “ goes most, go by the side of the bridge small shop goes ” comes to clever ground derivative the master —— of small shop a pair of old husband and wife, then outstanding husband and wife loves the child, risible characteristic, next reoccupy rains the opportunity that goes taking shelter from rain before me, the eye that passes me explains the position of small shop, highlight husband and wife then the two love child, grandchildren that loves oneself. Ending says the small shop in reality disappeared, but the small shop in memory always is in, character has and meaning is boundless. Young writer is conceived meticulously, distinct. The teacher hopes you are opposite the old person of grandchildren care write a bit more specificly, either “ is particularly good, special if listening to me, ” was explained, have specific setting picture however.
作文一开篇就让人眼前一亮，“已不在”这样精练的语言不同凡响。用小学最想听的“走，去桥边小店去”来巧妙地引出小店的主人——一对老夫妻，接着突出夫妻爱孩子、爱笑的特点，然后再用一次下雨我前去避雨的机会，通过我的眼睛交代小店的布局，进而突出夫妻俩爱孩子、爱自己的孙子。结尾说现实中的小店消失了，但记忆中的小店永在，言有尽而意无穷。小作者精心构思，层次分明。老师希望你把老人对孙子的牵挂写得具体一点，不是“特别乖，特别听我的话”就交代了，而是有具体的场景描写。