On the weekend, mom takes me to go lion forest plays. mom bought tea with milk of one dock-glass pearl to me outside lion forest, I drink it at a heat.
周末，妈妈带我去狮子林玩。在狮子林外面妈妈给我买了一大杯珍珠奶茶，我一口气把它喝完了。
Entered park, I climbed rockery a little while. The likelihood always is remittent reason, I feel suddenly inside urgent, think a toilet. I tell mother rapidly, mom says the toilet is built in the place that concealments quite commonly, we seek toilet sign toward devious place, who knew to walk into a blind lane, be forced gloomy ground was folded come back. My pee is urgenter and urgenter, I painful cover with both hands rapidly close abdomen, the waist did not rise continuously. I go at the same time at the same time recite scriptures: Are you in “WC? Are you in WC? ……” was heard by the aunt of a well-meaning on the side by chance, she points to smilingly to say to me above the move: “ child, the toilet is at the back of that kiosk! ” I said to her acoustical “ thanked ” to run over with respect to rapid ground rapidly. Ran a paragraph small, I smelled the flavour of the toilet, I as if saw emancipator, the direction of the toilet gallops and go forward rapidly ……
进了园林，我爬了一会儿假山。可能总是上上下下的原因，我突然感到内急，想上厕所。我赶紧告诉妈妈，妈妈说厕所一般都建在比较隐蔽的地方，我们就往偏僻的地方找厕所标志，谁知道走进了一个死胡同，只好灰溜溜地折了回来。我小便越来越急，痛的我赶紧用双手捂紧肚子，腰都直不起来了。我一边走一边念经：“WC你在哪？WC你在哪？……”恰巧被旁边的一位好心的阿姨听到了，她微笑地指着上面对我说：“小朋友，厕所就在那个亭子后面！”我赶紧对她说了声“谢谢”就飞快地跑了过去。跑了一小段，我就闻到了厕所的味道，我仿佛看到了救星，赶紧朝着厕所的方向飞奔而去……
Come out from the toilet, I rectify an individual to become relaxed. The position of the toilet must be familiar with first to gardens after this thing teachs me!
从厕所里出来，我整个人都变得轻松了。这件事教育我以后到园林一定要先熟悉厕所的位置啊！
Young writer, what the article writes is pretty good oh! From will look on the whole, you look for “ this business origin and development writes toilet ” exceedingly in detail, the statement is clear and coherent, the language is lively and vivid and interesting sex, behavioral bearing depict of the character and on a few detail also very reach the designated position, of very much good word decorate also sign in beauty, the child that serves as 2 grade can have such literal strength, the teacher should praise you really oh! But the article has specific place or should notice oh! For instance “ seeks the account of toilet ” , not be very accord with the life actual, still have the written expression that should note a statement, the “ in article I smelled the flavour ” of the toilet, compare colloquial word. “ article not tire of changes ” 100 times, after be being written consider of again much consider, in that way your article will be more excellent! Cheer!
小作者，文章写的不错哟！从总体上来看，你把“找厕所”这件事情来龙去脉写得非常的详细，语句通顺，语言生动活泼且生动有趣性，人物的动作神态描写和一些细节上也很到位，很多好词的修饰也签到妙处，作为二年级的小朋友能有这样的文字功底，老师真的要表扬你哟！但是文章有个别地方还是要注意哟！比如“找厕所”的原因，就不是很合乎生活实际，还有要注意语句的书面表达，文中“我就闻到了厕所的味道”，比较口语话了。“文章不厌百回改”，写完之后再多斟酌斟酌，那样你的文章会更棒！加油！