书柜里静静躺着的那本同学录，已经许久未打开。封面蒙上了一层灰尘，我轻轻地用纸巾拭去了灰尘，呆呆的望着它。那这六年的小学时光在不知不觉中打开。那时的我，一直迷茫于是否要公开承认和她是朋友。而那也是困扰了我许多年的难题。
The classmate record lying quietly in the bookshelf has not been opened for a long time. The cover was covered in a layer of dust, and I gently wiped it off with a tissue, staring blankly at it. The six years of elementary school have unknowingly opened up. At that time, I was always confused about whether to publicly admit that I was friends with her. And that is also a problem that has troubled me for many years.
那时还是一年级，正是年少懵懂时。小t是我的第一个同桌。她有着一头利落的短发，她为人友善，但她并不受欢迎。因为她的样貌，以及成绩，但这似乎并不阻碍我与她成为朋友。
At that time, it was still first grade, just when I was young and naive. Xiao T is my first desk mate. She has sharp short hair and is friendly, but she is not popular. Due to her appearance and academic performance, it doesn't seem to hinder me from becoming friends with her.( wWw.zuOwenBa.Net )
一天，一个男生来找我，他敲了敲我的桌子，居高临下的望着我，又看看旁边的空位，缓缓说道：“你别整天和你同桌玩，整天跟个男人婆似的，成绩不好还烦。”我迷茫的望着他，不知所措，迷迷糊糊的点了点头。当时的我还不明白，这到底意味着什么。
One day, a boy came to find me. He knocked on my desk, looked down at me from a high position, and then looked at the empty seat next to him. He slowly said; Don't play with your desk mate all day long. You're like a man and a woman, and your grades are not good and it's annoying. ” I looked at him in confusion, at a loss, and nodded in a daze. At that time, I didn't understand what this really meant.
但往后我和小t的关系依旧好。直到一次数学测验下来，她没考好，我给她讲了会儿题。五米开外，那个男生以严厉的目光盯着我。等小t离开座位，他一个箭步冲上来，挡住了我的去路。“你和小t是不是朋友？”他略显不满地问道，未等我回答，又说道：“我警告过你，不要和她玩。你要是再这样我让全班孤立你们。”我感到极度恐惧，到嘴边的那声“是”，被活生生的咽了回去。“没…没有，我和她…不是朋友…”我一屁股坐在椅子上，心中充满着“为什么和她不是朋友？”“我要怎么和她解释？”“我该怎么办？”而判断到底应该承认朋友还是不承认成为整个一年级的难题与恐惧。
But my relationship with Little T will still be good in the future. Until a math test, she didn't do well, so I explained the problem to her for a while. Five meters away, that boy stared at me with a stern gaze. When Little T left his seat, he rushed up with an arrow and blocked my way. “ Are you friends with Little T? ” He asked with a hint of dissatisfaction, and before I could answer, he said, '; I warned you not to play with her. If you continue like this, I will isolate the whole class from you. ” I feel extremely scared, the sound that comes to my mouth is; Yes, it is; It was swallowed back alive. “ No… No, me and her; Not a friend… ” I sat on the chair with my butt down, my heart filled with 'ldquo; Why aren't you friends with her? ” “ How can I explain to her? ” “ What should I do? ” And determining whether to admit a friend or not becomes a challenge and fear for the entire first grade.
她回来了，我不敢直视她，她听见我的心在怦怦的跳着。“万一她知道了怎么办？”我的手心里全是汗。幸好她只是坐下，改起了卷子。
She has come back, and I dare not look directly at her. She heard my heart pounding. “ What if she finds out? ” My palms are covered in sweat. Fortunately, she just sat down and started revising her paper.
人们眼中似乎永远容不下“异类”，她总被我们班的男生围堵着。那场面应该说是“校园暴力”吧。记得考完试后第一次被围时，她想座位上的我望了过来，那目光，满怀希望。她一定认为我会帮她吧。但我却只是心虚的低下了头，那目光中的希望和对友情的那份真挚渴望，是我所担不起的。我低着头，瞄了一眼她，那目光很快黯淡下去了，是失望，以及冷漠。很显然，我的行为证明了我选择了后者，我没有尽一个朋友的职。我没有帮她，哪怕一句。
People's eyes seem to never tolerate it; Outliers” She is always surrounded by the boys in our class. That scene should be said to be; Campus Violence; Okay. I remember when she was surrounded for the first time after the exam, she looked at me in her seat with hopeful eyes. She must think I will help her. But I just lowered my head nervously, the hope in my eyes and the sincere longing for friendship that I couldn't bear. I lowered my head and glanced at her, but her gaze quickly dimmed, showing disappointment and indifference. Obviously, my behavior proves that I chose the latter and did not fulfill my duty as a friend. I didn't help her, not even a word.
二年级那年开学，刚入秋，风吹入脖子，令人发痒。她转学了，我也再没有机会当面承认我们是朋友。而这道难题，伴随着我成长。至今，依然无解。
In the second grade, when school started, it was just autumn and the wind blew into my neck, making me itch. She transferred schools, and I no longer have the opportunity to admit in person that we are friends. And this challenge has accompanied my growth. Until now, there is still no solution.